8/18/10
Feelings are weight
This phrase has been popping up in my head. Fear/love/hate/guilt/anger/hornyness/jealousy/happiness/sadness etc. they push us one way or another. They are weight. We carry them with us whenever we have them. Because of their weight they have us do things. We are like their puppets whenever we act upon them. It sounds terribly negative at the moment. Guess I'm feeling sort of negative and cynical. In light of recent events. Feelings trick me. They make me act in certain ways. They make me do things. They make me convince myself that this or that is right or wrong. When I like one of them things, I want it to stay. When I don't like one of them, I want it to leave. Some people seem to be good at pushing some feelings away, and keep some. Somehow they can keep happiness and push away sadness. Well I forget them all. Each and everyone of them. Even if I do act upon them. None of them are sacred for me. They are all things that come and go, and I'm not just being zen about it. Maybe I am. I dunno. I'm just kinda ranting mindlessly maybe. Possibly, maybe, probably, somewhat... those are safe words because I know that my feelings transform me constantly and if I were to take each one fully and act on each one I'd be "a million different people from one day to the next" but maybe I am anyway because I do feel them, even if I don't act upon them. And maybe "I can't change my mold."
8/7/10
Angry Young Man, by Billy Joel
I think this song has really awesome lyrics... I hadnt heard it in a while and yesterday I heard it again, at the Fort Lee carnival, which Lin and me decided to check out since we were in the area... but yea, great lyrics... and I relate currently to the highlighted paragraph, while I used to related to the other stuff more when I was younger...
And there's always a place for the angry young man,
With his fist in the air and his head in the sand.
And he's never been able to learn from mistakes,
So he can't understand why his heart always breaks.
And his honor is pure and his courage as well,
And he's fair and he's true and he's boring as hell-
And he'll go to the grave as an angry old man.
There's always a place for the angry young man
With his working class ties and his radical plans
He refuses to bend, he refuses to crawl,
And He's always at home with his back to the wall.
And he's proud of his scars and the battles he's lost,
And he struggles and bleeds as he hangs on his cross-
And he likes to be known as the angry young man.
There's a place in the world for the angry young man
With his working class ties and his radical plans
He refuses to bend, he refuses to crawl,
And He's always at home with his back to the wall.
And he's proud of his scars and the battles he's lost,
And he struggles and bleeds as he hangs on his cross-
And he likes to be known as the angry young man.
Give a moment or two to the angry young man,
With his foot in his mouth and his heart in his hand.
He's been stabbed in the back, he's been misunderstood,
It's a comfort to know his intentions are good.
And he sits in a room with a lock on the door,
With his maps and his medals laid out on the floor-
And he likes to be known as the angry young man.
I believe I've passed the age
Of consciousness and righteous rage
I found that just surviving was a noble fight.
I once believed in causes too,
I had my pointless point of view,
And life went on no matter who was wrong or right.
With his working class ties and his radical plans
He refuses to bend, he refuses to crawl,
And He's always at home with his back to the wall.
And he's proud of his scars and the battles he's lost,
And he struggles and bleeds as he hangs on his cross-
And he likes to be known as the angry young man.
Give a moment or two to the angry young man,
With his foot in his mouth and his heart in his hand.
He's been stabbed in the back, he's been misunderstood,
It's a comfort to know his intentions are good.
And he sits in a room with a lock on the door,
With his maps and his medals laid out on the floor-
And he likes to be known as the angry young man.
I believe I've passed the age
Of consciousness and righteous rage
I found that just surviving was a noble fight.
I once believed in causes too,
I had my pointless point of view,
And life went on no matter who was wrong or right.
And there's always a place for the angry young man,
With his fist in the air and his head in the sand.
And he's never been able to learn from mistakes,
So he can't understand why his heart always breaks.
And his honor is pure and his courage as well,
And he's fair and he's true and he's boring as hell-
And he'll go to the grave as an angry old man.
There's always a place for the angry young man
With his working class ties and his radical plans
He refuses to bend, he refuses to crawl,
And He's always at home with his back to the wall.
And he's proud of his scars and the battles he's lost,
And he struggles and bleeds as he hangs on his cross-
And he likes to be known as the angry young man.
8/3/10
About being good or bad at something (and the thought processes that go along with that)
Ive been pondering on the difference in my state of mind when it comes to things I think I'm good at and things I think I'm terrible at. Whether this may or may not affect the results hasn't really been the terrain covered by my pondering. It's more like just watching my thoughts about both things, that I've been going over.
The most obvious comparison that comes to mind is computers vs. people. I'm no super computer wiz but I def enjoy working with them compared to with people. Meaning, I enjoy dealing with computer problems a thousand times more than with people issues. I think I'm good at solving PC problems, but I'm not good at solving people problems. A lot of people, who they themselves get really frustrated with computer issues, seem to think I know every solution to every computer problem there is to have. (See: http://xkcd.com/627/) My boss sometimes calls me after she's tried a bunch of times to fix something, and she'll call me once she's given up and I easily find the solution. In fact, this one time, for something I've never seen before, I said, let's try this, maybe if we click it it will do it. And it did. She was amazed, she was like 'how did you know to go exactly there, when I've been going all over the place for like half an hour??" and I guess that in part got me thinking of how in fact I did know. What is the nature of my comfort with computer issues really. Meanwhile, people around me get surprised that I find simple people things so uncomfortable and often, whether they know it or not, I find them unbearable.
I don't know the solution to most computer issues, just like I don't know the solution to most people issues. I guess the main thing though is that I find that messing up is a good thing with computers. I have tremendous curiosity and whenever I don't get something right, let's say I've been trying to get rid of a virus for hours, I try this one thing, didn't work, this other one, didn't work, etc. etc. I really don't feel that my image is at all compromised by it. I have watched other people when they get frustrated with computer issues. At some point they go "I'm just not good with these things" or something along those lines. While I'm just like, the step you took wasn't good, just try something else. When something hasn't worked it usually leads me to knowing something else. To make it clearer, looking around for how to fix IP configurations in a network printer let me know I can probably use similar settings for computers in the same network, and I was able to set up both the network printer and the individual PCs without any prior networking knowledge whatsoever. I never told this to people in the office, cuz I probably could've messed stuff up and they look at me like I know so much, if they knew that my level of knowledge isn't all that far from theirs, they'd probably freak out because they're trusting me with machines that they depend on daily. Haha. That's kinda fun. But I guess my point here is that I don't feel dumb if I can't get something to work right away. It only gets more and more exciting. (same goes for programming and stuff like that...)
That is NOT the case with people things in general for me. I often tell myself, if this happens, I should say this or that, and act this way or that way. And this is information I've gathered from multiple sources, such as my own past, books, tv, and just watching people behave in their natural habitats. And I tell myself, remember this! and this! and that! etc... and if the situation ever occurs where my knowledge is to be put to the test, what happens is... I FAIL. And so this is probably where I'm able to notice the major difference in my thought processes between situation A and situation B. When this happens I feel really stupid, embarrassed, worried, etc. All very negative emotions that I normally seek to avoid. They usually pass eventually but their weight can be really burdening at times. Maybe that's why I feel so drained out after socializing or similar things like that. I basically expect myself to do what I want me to do right, right from the start. I want me to not make any mistakes at all. Somehow I want to just know everything and how each thing is supposed to be, and be in at most control of myself as humanly possible. These expectations are extremely unrealistic, and basically unnecessary, once I can look at them from this more objective POV. Especially considering I'm just not naturally comfortable in these situations.
I guess the thing is, when computers mess up, and u work on them, they don't actually care. They can get worse sure, but so you just try more and then they can get better. With people, it seems to me, you can hit a wall, where I find you just can't get through anymore. People put up defenses if they conceive that one is trying to harm them, mock them, or just get too close to them in some way. They get offended, they hold on to their judgments, they want to be right. Hitting this wall is something I really wish to avoid because then the situation just seems hopeless to me. Once people start to just hang on to their judgments without wanting to see the situation from other angles, there's nothing really that I can do. And all the effort that it takes to not get to hit that wall, or to try to get past it, that in itself is all so very draining. And why do we care if people hold misconceptions of us? I guess because in the past, when humans lived in tribes, they really depended on each other for survival, and if one member wasn't liked, he or she probably got the worst of everything. I think to this day this is kinda true, if a person pleases others in whatever way, like by being eye candy, or nice, or whatever, they are more likely to get a better treatment and more opportunities from other people. So I guess this is where the basic fear of not wanting to mess with people comes from.
But anyway, I guess I'm trying to cover a lot in this post, and I'm not sure I'm doing such a good job at connecting the dots. I had it in my mind much clearer before but it's not coming out with as much ease as my usual writing.
I wanted to say that the things we're not so good at, are bad habits, a lot of the times anyway. If we keep avoiding them we won't get good at them ever. Sometimes we have to mess up a thousand times. Maybe it's the attitude we take when we mess up that makes the difference. Also, when I wrote this I noticed that I don't really do that much work to get good at computers, and I do a lot more work to get good at people, yet the effects are opposite. I guess maybe I could just try being honest, saying I don't know, and the next time I mess up, and I say to myself that was ghey, I can just accept that it is a bad habit of mine, and accept that I'll probably have to mess up for months, years, or however long it takes. And hopefully there will just be learning. That's the most important thing I can gather from experiences anyway, methinks.
I tried doing this today basically: http://www.raptitude.com/2010/03/how-to-make-mindfulness-a-habit-with-only-a-tiny-commitment/ which had me thinking a lot about habits and how they can be "hard to break." The main gist of that post is to just be mindful (or put simply, pay attention to the outside world and not only to the mental chatter of our minds) when we do 2 things: 1-open any door, and 2-sit on any chair. I thought that would be easy. EXCEPT I kept forgetting to do it. I probably only did it about a fifth of the times, and most of the times I only noticed that I hadn't done it, afterwards. So I felt a little stupid after I would miss the moment I wanted to commit to paying attention to. But then I thought about it more, why should I feel stupid? I haven't done this in the past. I actually expected myself to get it right, again, right from the start. The unconscious brain though, where all the habits live (which wanna live happily ever after) doesn't just respond to our wishes, though yes, how I would love that it just did. It requires a work out. It's basically like losing weight. You gotta exercise over and over and over, to just burn a few calories. So here, it seems we gotta make the mistake and notice and correct it, over and over and over, just to get a little better at what we would like to be doing on a constant basis. Maybe the reason I'm so hard on myself about not wanting to make mistakes is brewed into my brain from when I was a kid. What happened if we messed up as kids? Well for me, I'd get a bunch of scary stuff thrown at me, I'd get yelled at, which I remember I hated more than being struck, or I'd get struck. So it's like, messing up is a really bad thing, and one gets punished for it. I don't think it is really, and I find out more and more through practice, that I should try to accept how messing up is rather necessary. Punishing is probably the worst we can do for ourselves. Yes, old habits die hard, but expecting them to die right away is what's wrong with it. Feeling stupid or sorry for ourselves for not being able to meet such egotistical goals is worse. And much worse yet is punishing ourselves for not keeping it up. So yea, all this stuff is related but still I don't think it came across as sound as it was in my head. oh wells.
I tried doing this today basically: http://www.raptitude.com/2010/03/how-to-make-mindfulness-a-habit-with-only-a-tiny-commitment/ which had me thinking a lot about habits and how they can be "hard to break." The main gist of that post is to just be mindful (or put simply, pay attention to the outside world and not only to the mental chatter of our minds) when we do 2 things: 1-open any door, and 2-sit on any chair. I thought that would be easy. EXCEPT I kept forgetting to do it. I probably only did it about a fifth of the times, and most of the times I only noticed that I hadn't done it, afterwards. So I felt a little stupid after I would miss the moment I wanted to commit to paying attention to. But then I thought about it more, why should I feel stupid? I haven't done this in the past. I actually expected myself to get it right, again, right from the start. The unconscious brain though, where all the habits live (which wanna live happily ever after) doesn't just respond to our wishes, though yes, how I would love that it just did. It requires a work out. It's basically like losing weight. You gotta exercise over and over and over, to just burn a few calories. So here, it seems we gotta make the mistake and notice and correct it, over and over and over, just to get a little better at what we would like to be doing on a constant basis. Maybe the reason I'm so hard on myself about not wanting to make mistakes is brewed into my brain from when I was a kid. What happened if we messed up as kids? Well for me, I'd get a bunch of scary stuff thrown at me, I'd get yelled at, which I remember I hated more than being struck, or I'd get struck. So it's like, messing up is a really bad thing, and one gets punished for it. I don't think it is really, and I find out more and more through practice, that I should try to accept how messing up is rather necessary. Punishing is probably the worst we can do for ourselves. Yes, old habits die hard, but expecting them to die right away is what's wrong with it. Feeling stupid or sorry for ourselves for not being able to meet such egotistical goals is worse. And much worse yet is punishing ourselves for not keeping it up. So yea, all this stuff is related but still I don't think it came across as sound as it was in my head. oh wells.
7/31/10
88 Important Truths (click for original link)
Thanks Nat, for sending these to me, and sorry it's taken me so long to go thru them, but I've just been busy as hell. I almost agree with all of them, but I decided to jot down my comments on them anyways..
1. You can’t change other people, and it’s rude to try.
Yep...
2. It is a hundred times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place.
Yes...goddamn it
3. If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about whatever you’re talking about than you do.
I usually don't make assumptions about what people know or don't, it doesn't make sense to do so, and what they know or don't know doesn't really mean anything special...
4. The cheapest and most expensive models are usually both bad deals.
Yes, the best value for my money is what I usually go for, really cheap things tend to be really crappy, but not necessarily so; and really expensive things, surely are just overpriced, and people flaunting their capability to spend money, to me, are just flaunting their stupidity... unless they keed, then it's all good
5. Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly.
I will copy Nat on this one... "Naturally"
6. Bad moods will come and go your whole life, and trying to force them away makes them run deeper and last longer.
Yes, I learned this some time ago. The deeper one pushes something down, the harder it turns to deal with it, if one ever tries. Of course, we can go through life avoiding dealing with sad/horrible/angry past moments, but I believe that's living on shallowness, choosing to not fully experience our lives. And anyways, the times when I just decided to deal with it on the spot, though it hurts A LOT, eventually (EVENTUALLY) it just goes away, and then I can talk about it without feeling sad/guilty/ashamed about it. There's nothing that we should be really ashamed of anyways, we feel what we feel because of the collection of things that make us who we are. We are rather innocent at the core and at mercy, and the result, of chance.
7. Children are remarkably honest creatures until we teach them not to be.
Exactly. Children can piss me off the same way grownups do. But they move on. And I don't have to worry about being myself around them, they don't have a guidebook in their heads that tell them how I am supposed to act, as we adults do.
8. If everyone in the TV show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.
Well I don't know about that. The TV show is about the story and characters to me. Whether the faces of the people there please my eye or not is just secondary.
9. Yelling always makes things worse.
Sometimes it feels good to do so and get it out of one's way. The person who receives the yelling can interpret it however way he or she chooses to. But in general, I do agree with this.
10. Whenever you’re worried about what others will think of you, you’re really just worried about what you’ll think of you.
YES!!! ...although... there's the exception of when you NEED them to think positively of you, such as in job interviews, meetings, court, or anything where your credibility is at stake. All such situations, I simply hate.
11. Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it.
Yes, definitely. It's my life, what I experience from each of my senses is what makes up my world. I am the only one who can control my body. Hence, I am the person who can actually take care of my own problems. Others might be able to help, but that's just a courtesy, and at times it makes the situation worse, cuz they don't know what is truly going on inside each person. I know they mean well, but taking care of myself is at the core of my beliefs.
12. You never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.
That's interesting. I haven't thought of this much... only of my own inadequacy at dealing with more than one moment at a time. I will read the linked article.
13. If you never doubt your beliefs, then you’re wrong a lot.
All I ever do is doubt my beliefs. But just in case, I don't think that implies that I would then necessarily be right a lot. Cuz I'm not. Maybe I just discover constantly that I'm wrong.
14. Managing one’s wants is the most powerful skill a person can learn.
How do I manage my wants??? I do make to-do lists... and other things to try to organize my needs and wants, is that what the person who wrote this meant? I could ask in their blog, but I don't feel like it.
15. Nobody has it all figured out.
Yep...
16. Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.
Haha cool.
17. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.
That seems quite true.
18. Whenever you hate something, it hates you back: people, situations and inanimate objects alike.
I agree, whenever I hit things, they hit me back.
19. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s works alone can teach you everything you need to know about living with grace and happiness.
Emerson is awesome, only read a little of his work thou. NEED MORE.
20. People embellish everything, as a rule.
I guess so...
21. Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even more so.
But anger is still better than passively accepting a situation. I agree that passive resistance can indeed make the world a better place. But if a person needs to feel anger in order to stand against an injustice, let that be, even if it means that some blood will be shed. Though I must stress that I do believe that passive resistance or the practice of understanding and empathizing with those that cause us harm is to me much more sensible. Yes, I am talking about Gandhi. But what he did or other people like him do is not like doing simple math, those people are enlightened, and it takes them years to get to that. But yea, thinking that way instead of the easier way to fight, which is using anger, is a much more positive outlook on humanity. That I do believe. Also, I wanna quote A.Lin on this: "an eye for an eye and soon the whole world will be blind"
22. Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we are.
Humans can't destroy the planet? Someone told me once that enough atomic bombs going off at once would be able to destroy it... that seems possible. And I suppose we are indeed destroying its capacity to keep us alive...
23. When people are uncomfortable with the present moment, they fidget with their hands or their minds. Watch and see.
Interesting... not sure if I agree or not... will watch and see, watch myself first I guess.
24. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.
Maybe. Complaining can be healthy though, same reasoning as anger/violence on this one for me.
25. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.
YES
26. Credit card debt devours souls.
lol
27. Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world. It’s just way too big for any one person to know it well.
Well, that's relative no? We definitely know more now than we did in the past. So that fraction was more minuscule before. I mean in terms of how the world works, science basically. So naturally it seems that the fraction would continue to grow... but ultimately, the notion that there's so much I don't know about makes me really happy
28. Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.
CoOoOoOoL...
29. A person who is unafraid to present a candid version of herself to the world is as rare as diamonds.
Yes...how many times have I told myself to act this way or that way in a certain situation? Always to try and control the outcome of it...that's very formulaic by the way. And to leave it all to chance...that's very bold. I probably only do that when I'm drunk.
30. The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people.
Not sure what this one means. If it means that grasping comfort is the basis of every addiction, I agree. But I don't know if it wrecks dreams or breaks people. I mean that's just kinda vague, not sure what the writer meant.
31. If what you’re doing feels perfectly safe, there is probably a better course of action.
Hmm... there are times when I don't venture out, but I don't think there's anything wrong with safety in and of itself. Also, isn't there always something better out there? And worse?
32. The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language.
Not sure, but language is quite awesome
33. Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.
Interesting... yes, I do agree with this. Blame is kind of a waste of time to me anyways.
34. Everyone you meet is better than you at something.
Yep, and worse haha
35. Proof is nothing but a collection of opinions that match your own.
Is it? I think of it more like a conclusion that cannot be debated because everything leads to that one answer. I guess that would be a collection of opinions, but I see it more as everyone who tries to not-match it, fails, and that's why it's proven as true.
36. Knowledge is belief, nothing more.
Yea, I agree.
37. Indulging your desires is not self-love.
No it's not, because it causes a state of pleasure and pain. Pleasure when we 'satisfy' the desire, pain when we do not. It causes us to seek these temporary states and want to make them permanent, which can never happen. Thus, it causes suffering. If we cause suffering to ourselves, we are not loving ourselves. Self-love is I think a pleasure-less effort that comes from each of us and is often dry and boring but that through constant repetition make us understand ourselves and others with more ease.
38. What makes human beings different from animals is that animals can be themselves with ease.
I guess, but do they really have a choice? I don't know...
39. Self-examination is the only path out of misery.
Yes, I agree.
40. Whoever you are, you will die. To know and understand that means you are alive.
Cooool
41. Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible.
I don't know
42. Getting truly organized can vastly improve anyone’s life.
Yes!
43. Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes. But the wisdom is still in there.
I don't know about that, I don't believe in things just cuz it's been said and done.
44. People cause suffering when they are suffering themselves. Alleviating their suffering will help them not hurt others.
I definitely agree.
45. High quality is worth any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.
Yes, quality is definitely worth it.
46. The world would be a better place if everyone read National Geographic.
Haha, yea maybe. I used to be a subscriber but then I didn't always read them, they did have some really awesome articles at times though.
47. If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.
In fact I think you'd be more unhappy.
48. Even if it costs no money, nothing is free if it takes time.
And time is the one thing we can't get back. So it matters to me much more than money.
49. Emotions exist to make us strongly biased towards or against something. This hinders as often as it helps.
Interesting...
50. Addiction is a much greater problem in society than it’s made out to be. It’s present in every person in various forms, but usually we call it something else.
Yes I agree
51. “Gut feeling” is not just a euphemism. Tension in the abdomen speaks volumes about how you truly feel about something, beyond all arguments and rationales.
That's true. I remember once I asked a friend, 'when you get angry, do you ever feel that your gut (or whatever that part is in between the ribs like 6 inches above the navel) feels really really warm??' He answered, 'I never get that angry.'
There wasn't really a point in that story in relation to the above quote, lol
52. Posture and dress change profoundly how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you, like it or not.
Posture yes, when I stand up straight, I feel much more assertive. Dress change I don't know... I often forget what I'm wearing till I look in the mirror. And others? I never know what the hell anyone's thinking, which is probably a good thing.
53. Everyone thinks they’re an above average driver.
I think I'm just average, and lately below average, I just got stopped by a cop today :\
54. The urge to punish others has much more to do with venting frustration than correcting behavior.
Ahhh... muy interesante... punishing sucks. Period.
55. By default, people think far too much.
I definitely do...
56. If anything is worth splurging on, it’s a high-quality mattress. You’ll spend a third of your life using it.
Haha cool... temperpedic is called? Wouldn't mind one of those...
57. There is nothing worse than having no friends.
Sometimes being alone is better than hanging out with people who drag one down. But I guess they're not real friends anyway. But yea, being alone is rather underrated I think.
58. To write a person off as worthless is an act of great violence.
Yea, that's a really horrible thing to do. Though it doesn't make sense anyway. Who is who to say who is worth what when??? Yea, that's right.
59. Try as we might to be otherwise, we are all hypocrites.
That's not a word I really use. It doesn't have much meaning to me. I say things that I don't do, and do things that I say I don't do. That's just a normal thing. We can't possibly expect ourselves to be so perfect. The intention is what really matters I think. And I don't think that people really are out there with the intention of doing the very opposite thing that they say they're doing. If they do that is for other reasons than just that, otherwise it just doesn't make sense to me. So that word is a given, as much as it is not, it might as well not exist in my dictionary.
60. Justice is a human invention which is in reality rarely achievable, but many will not hesitate to destroy lives demanding it.
Yea I think many injustices are committed for the sake of justice. I think when we get it mixed up with just wanting to be right is when we get confused...
61. Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences.
True, when they say they don't, they think they're about to fool the stupid adult haha
62. Stuff that’s on sale usually has an annoying downside.
Does it? I don't know... I hate shopping
63. Casual swearing makes people sound dumb.
I disagree.
64. Words are immensely powerful. One cruel remark can wound someone for life.
Yea I guess, but they should try to help themselves and not just believe in what other people are capable of saying.
65. It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.
Yea it feels good. But it doesn't when I just don't feel that I need the attention. I'm not trying to reject the person themselves, I just may not need the attention at certain times, that's all.
66. Most of what children learn from their parents isn’t taught on purpose.
I guess...
67. The secret ingredient is usually butter, in obscene amounts.
Haha... yum!!
68. It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first.
I think it's worth re-trying most things not liked at first. Just refresh your browser, I mean, brain.
69. Problems, when they arise, are rarely as painful as the experience of fearing them.
I DEFINITELY AGREE WITH THIS
70. Nothing — ever — happens exactly like you pictured it.
I DEFINITELY AGREE WITH THIS
71. North Americans are generally terrible at accepting compliments and offers of help.
Are they? I don't really know about this...
72. There are not enough women in positions of power. The world has suffered from this deficit for a long time.
Maybe they don't value those positions so much. There is a reason why the ones that are in power are there. I'm sure being that most men are in power they keep women from obtaining such positions but that's not really a valid excuse if others are able to do it. And I say that because I don't think being in a position of power is in and of itself a "good" thing, and that not being in one is a "bad" thing. A woman who lives her life taking care of her family and does so because she wants to, and nothing else, is fine with me. As is one who ends up being the President. That's fine too. I say people will do what they want, what we see is the result of that. And also, if people start to do things they don't actually want to do, they won't perform so well at them, so that 'deficit' might not really end up being one that is worth advocating for.
73. When you break promises to yourself, you feel terrible. When you make a habit of it, you begin to hate yourself.
Yea, that is definitely a depressing thing.
74. A good nine out of ten bad things I’ve worried about never happened. A good nine out of ten bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry about.
The first part, nay, I think when I start to worry about things there usually is substantial evidence to back up my worries, so they end up occurring, though the rate is not really that high, I'd say maybe 6 out of 10. Also, because I worry about them in advance, I can think of possibilities to prevent such situations from happening, that probably accounts for 2 of the 10, and I'll leave the last 20% to chance. Though chance is probably much higher, and those stats are probably just way off, but whatever, I don't wanna go over that again. The second sentence, however, is on the dot. WHICH SUCKS.
75. You can’t hide a bad mood from people who know you well, but you can always be polite.
Very true. I don't try to be polite, I try to just be neutral. Being polite requires a lot of effort. However, I definitely try not to throw my mood onto them because it's just not their problems/fault/responsibility. And I really hate when people take out their bad moods on me, when I'm just an innocent passerby.
76. Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.
Yea, I could see that. Sucks a lot.
77. Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.
OMG YES!!! i loooove doing that...
78. There is no point finishing a book you aren’t enjoying. Life is too short for that. Swallow your pride and put it down for good, unfinished.
Haha cool. I like your attitude sir/ma'm.
79. There is no correlation between the price of a brand of batteries and how long they last.
There isnt?? Well, have you ever tried those 'ever ready' ones? they suck!
80. Breaking new ground only takes a small amount more effort than you’re used to giving.
What's breaking new ground? Like going to unknown places or situations? Sometimes it takes A LOT of effort, if that's the case...
81. Life is a solo trip, but you’ll have lots of visitors. Some of them are long-term, most aren’t.
Cool, I like the idea of thinking about it in that way... that's pretty cool... it makes it less detrimental to think of the people that come and go... makes it lighter, and it rings pretty much as true.
82. One of the best things you can do for your kids is take them on road trips. I’m not a parent, but I was a kid once.
Aww cute... that's really sweet, if I ever have such things, I'll try that... I love any sort of trip for myself anyways
83. The fewer possessions you have, the more they do for you.
Ha, simple and true
84. Einstein was wiser than he was intelligent, and he was a genius.
YES! He left quite a few writings behind and they're pretty awesome.
85. When you’re sick of your own life, that’s a good time to pick up a book.
I do this all the time, so that means I get sick of my own life, it happens.
86. Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself.
Um... unless u can immediately start to work toward making them different. But if you can't then yes, it is torture for sure.
87. The ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with how things change.
Acceptance, yes, of each moment. Not an easy thing to do, but it gets less difficult with practice, to me anyways.
88. Killing time is an atrocity. It’s priceless, and it never grows back.
YES!!! Though time is really just an idea. There is only one thing ever occurring. Once when I woke up in the middle of the night and looked at the alarm clock, I saw that I still had 2 hours left to sleep, and I felt relief from that. Then I closed my eyes. Then I opened them again and it was time to get up. I was still the same person. Time is just an illusion.
1. You can’t change other people, and it’s rude to try.
Yep...
2. It is a hundred times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place.
Yes...goddamn it
3. If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about whatever you’re talking about than you do.
I usually don't make assumptions about what people know or don't, it doesn't make sense to do so, and what they know or don't know doesn't really mean anything special...
4. The cheapest and most expensive models are usually both bad deals.
Yes, the best value for my money is what I usually go for, really cheap things tend to be really crappy, but not necessarily so; and really expensive things, surely are just overpriced, and people flaunting their capability to spend money, to me, are just flaunting their stupidity... unless they keed, then it's all good
5. Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly.
I will copy Nat on this one... "Naturally"
6. Bad moods will come and go your whole life, and trying to force them away makes them run deeper and last longer.
Yes, I learned this some time ago. The deeper one pushes something down, the harder it turns to deal with it, if one ever tries. Of course, we can go through life avoiding dealing with sad/horrible/angry past moments, but I believe that's living on shallowness, choosing to not fully experience our lives. And anyways, the times when I just decided to deal with it on the spot, though it hurts A LOT, eventually (EVENTUALLY) it just goes away, and then I can talk about it without feeling sad/guilty/ashamed about it. There's nothing that we should be really ashamed of anyways, we feel what we feel because of the collection of things that make us who we are. We are rather innocent at the core and at mercy, and the result, of chance.
7. Children are remarkably honest creatures until we teach them not to be.
Exactly. Children can piss me off the same way grownups do. But they move on. And I don't have to worry about being myself around them, they don't have a guidebook in their heads that tell them how I am supposed to act, as we adults do.
8. If everyone in the TV show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.
Well I don't know about that. The TV show is about the story and characters to me. Whether the faces of the people there please my eye or not is just secondary.
9. Yelling always makes things worse.
Sometimes it feels good to do so and get it out of one's way. The person who receives the yelling can interpret it however way he or she chooses to. But in general, I do agree with this.
10. Whenever you’re worried about what others will think of you, you’re really just worried about what you’ll think of you.
YES!!! ...although... there's the exception of when you NEED them to think positively of you, such as in job interviews, meetings, court, or anything where your credibility is at stake. All such situations, I simply hate.
11. Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it.
Yes, definitely. It's my life, what I experience from each of my senses is what makes up my world. I am the only one who can control my body. Hence, I am the person who can actually take care of my own problems. Others might be able to help, but that's just a courtesy, and at times it makes the situation worse, cuz they don't know what is truly going on inside each person. I know they mean well, but taking care of myself is at the core of my beliefs.
12. You never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.
That's interesting. I haven't thought of this much... only of my own inadequacy at dealing with more than one moment at a time. I will read the linked article.
13. If you never doubt your beliefs, then you’re wrong a lot.
All I ever do is doubt my beliefs. But just in case, I don't think that implies that I would then necessarily be right a lot. Cuz I'm not. Maybe I just discover constantly that I'm wrong.
14. Managing one’s wants is the most powerful skill a person can learn.
How do I manage my wants??? I do make to-do lists... and other things to try to organize my needs and wants, is that what the person who wrote this meant? I could ask in their blog, but I don't feel like it.
15. Nobody has it all figured out.
Yep...
16. Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.
Haha cool.
17. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.
That seems quite true.
18. Whenever you hate something, it hates you back: people, situations and inanimate objects alike.
I agree, whenever I hit things, they hit me back.
19. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s works alone can teach you everything you need to know about living with grace and happiness.
Emerson is awesome, only read a little of his work thou. NEED MORE.
20. People embellish everything, as a rule.
I guess so...
21. Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even more so.
But anger is still better than passively accepting a situation. I agree that passive resistance can indeed make the world a better place. But if a person needs to feel anger in order to stand against an injustice, let that be, even if it means that some blood will be shed. Though I must stress that I do believe that passive resistance or the practice of understanding and empathizing with those that cause us harm is to me much more sensible. Yes, I am talking about Gandhi. But what he did or other people like him do is not like doing simple math, those people are enlightened, and it takes them years to get to that. But yea, thinking that way instead of the easier way to fight, which is using anger, is a much more positive outlook on humanity. That I do believe. Also, I wanna quote A.Lin on this: "an eye for an eye and soon the whole world will be blind"
22. Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we are.
Humans can't destroy the planet? Someone told me once that enough atomic bombs going off at once would be able to destroy it... that seems possible. And I suppose we are indeed destroying its capacity to keep us alive...
23. When people are uncomfortable with the present moment, they fidget with their hands or their minds. Watch and see.
Interesting... not sure if I agree or not... will watch and see, watch myself first I guess.
24. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.
Maybe. Complaining can be healthy though, same reasoning as anger/violence on this one for me.
25. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.
YES
26. Credit card debt devours souls.
lol
27. Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world. It’s just way too big for any one person to know it well.
Well, that's relative no? We definitely know more now than we did in the past. So that fraction was more minuscule before. I mean in terms of how the world works, science basically. So naturally it seems that the fraction would continue to grow... but ultimately, the notion that there's so much I don't know about makes me really happy
28. Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.
CoOoOoOoL...
29. A person who is unafraid to present a candid version of herself to the world is as rare as diamonds.
Yes...how many times have I told myself to act this way or that way in a certain situation? Always to try and control the outcome of it...that's very formulaic by the way. And to leave it all to chance...that's very bold. I probably only do that when I'm drunk.
30. The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people.
Not sure what this one means. If it means that grasping comfort is the basis of every addiction, I agree. But I don't know if it wrecks dreams or breaks people. I mean that's just kinda vague, not sure what the writer meant.
31. If what you’re doing feels perfectly safe, there is probably a better course of action.
Hmm... there are times when I don't venture out, but I don't think there's anything wrong with safety in and of itself. Also, isn't there always something better out there? And worse?
32. The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language.
Not sure, but language is quite awesome
33. Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.
Interesting... yes, I do agree with this. Blame is kind of a waste of time to me anyways.
34. Everyone you meet is better than you at something.
Yep, and worse haha
35. Proof is nothing but a collection of opinions that match your own.
Is it? I think of it more like a conclusion that cannot be debated because everything leads to that one answer. I guess that would be a collection of opinions, but I see it more as everyone who tries to not-match it, fails, and that's why it's proven as true.
36. Knowledge is belief, nothing more.
Yea, I agree.
37. Indulging your desires is not self-love.
No it's not, because it causes a state of pleasure and pain. Pleasure when we 'satisfy' the desire, pain when we do not. It causes us to seek these temporary states and want to make them permanent, which can never happen. Thus, it causes suffering. If we cause suffering to ourselves, we are not loving ourselves. Self-love is I think a pleasure-less effort that comes from each of us and is often dry and boring but that through constant repetition make us understand ourselves and others with more ease.
38. What makes human beings different from animals is that animals can be themselves with ease.
I guess, but do they really have a choice? I don't know...
39. Self-examination is the only path out of misery.
Yes, I agree.
40. Whoever you are, you will die. To know and understand that means you are alive.
Cooool
41. Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible.
I don't know
42. Getting truly organized can vastly improve anyone’s life.
Yes!
43. Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes. But the wisdom is still in there.
I don't know about that, I don't believe in things just cuz it's been said and done.
44. People cause suffering when they are suffering themselves. Alleviating their suffering will help them not hurt others.
I definitely agree.
45. High quality is worth any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.
Yes, quality is definitely worth it.
46. The world would be a better place if everyone read National Geographic.
Haha, yea maybe. I used to be a subscriber but then I didn't always read them, they did have some really awesome articles at times though.
47. If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.
In fact I think you'd be more unhappy.
48. Even if it costs no money, nothing is free if it takes time.
And time is the one thing we can't get back. So it matters to me much more than money.
49. Emotions exist to make us strongly biased towards or against something. This hinders as often as it helps.
Interesting...
50. Addiction is a much greater problem in society than it’s made out to be. It’s present in every person in various forms, but usually we call it something else.
Yes I agree
51. “Gut feeling” is not just a euphemism. Tension in the abdomen speaks volumes about how you truly feel about something, beyond all arguments and rationales.
That's true. I remember once I asked a friend, 'when you get angry, do you ever feel that your gut (or whatever that part is in between the ribs like 6 inches above the navel) feels really really warm??' He answered, 'I never get that angry.'
There wasn't really a point in that story in relation to the above quote, lol
52. Posture and dress change profoundly how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you, like it or not.
Posture yes, when I stand up straight, I feel much more assertive. Dress change I don't know... I often forget what I'm wearing till I look in the mirror. And others? I never know what the hell anyone's thinking, which is probably a good thing.
53. Everyone thinks they’re an above average driver.
I think I'm just average, and lately below average, I just got stopped by a cop today :\
54. The urge to punish others has much more to do with venting frustration than correcting behavior.
Ahhh... muy interesante... punishing sucks. Period.
55. By default, people think far too much.
I definitely do...
56. If anything is worth splurging on, it’s a high-quality mattress. You’ll spend a third of your life using it.
Haha cool... temperpedic is called? Wouldn't mind one of those...
57. There is nothing worse than having no friends.
Sometimes being alone is better than hanging out with people who drag one down. But I guess they're not real friends anyway. But yea, being alone is rather underrated I think.
58. To write a person off as worthless is an act of great violence.
Yea, that's a really horrible thing to do. Though it doesn't make sense anyway. Who is who to say who is worth what when??? Yea, that's right.
59. Try as we might to be otherwise, we are all hypocrites.
That's not a word I really use. It doesn't have much meaning to me. I say things that I don't do, and do things that I say I don't do. That's just a normal thing. We can't possibly expect ourselves to be so perfect. The intention is what really matters I think. And I don't think that people really are out there with the intention of doing the very opposite thing that they say they're doing. If they do that is for other reasons than just that, otherwise it just doesn't make sense to me. So that word is a given, as much as it is not, it might as well not exist in my dictionary.
60. Justice is a human invention which is in reality rarely achievable, but many will not hesitate to destroy lives demanding it.
Yea I think many injustices are committed for the sake of justice. I think when we get it mixed up with just wanting to be right is when we get confused...
61. Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences.
True, when they say they don't, they think they're about to fool the stupid adult haha
62. Stuff that’s on sale usually has an annoying downside.
Does it? I don't know... I hate shopping
63. Casual swearing makes people sound dumb.
I disagree.
64. Words are immensely powerful. One cruel remark can wound someone for life.
Yea I guess, but they should try to help themselves and not just believe in what other people are capable of saying.
65. It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.
Yea it feels good. But it doesn't when I just don't feel that I need the attention. I'm not trying to reject the person themselves, I just may not need the attention at certain times, that's all.
66. Most of what children learn from their parents isn’t taught on purpose.
I guess...
67. The secret ingredient is usually butter, in obscene amounts.
Haha... yum!!
68. It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first.
I think it's worth re-trying most things not liked at first. Just refresh your browser, I mean, brain.
69. Problems, when they arise, are rarely as painful as the experience of fearing them.
I DEFINITELY AGREE WITH THIS
70. Nothing — ever — happens exactly like you pictured it.
I DEFINITELY AGREE WITH THIS
71. North Americans are generally terrible at accepting compliments and offers of help.
Are they? I don't really know about this...
72. There are not enough women in positions of power. The world has suffered from this deficit for a long time.
Maybe they don't value those positions so much. There is a reason why the ones that are in power are there. I'm sure being that most men are in power they keep women from obtaining such positions but that's not really a valid excuse if others are able to do it. And I say that because I don't think being in a position of power is in and of itself a "good" thing, and that not being in one is a "bad" thing. A woman who lives her life taking care of her family and does so because she wants to, and nothing else, is fine with me. As is one who ends up being the President. That's fine too. I say people will do what they want, what we see is the result of that. And also, if people start to do things they don't actually want to do, they won't perform so well at them, so that 'deficit' might not really end up being one that is worth advocating for.
73. When you break promises to yourself, you feel terrible. When you make a habit of it, you begin to hate yourself.
Yea, that is definitely a depressing thing.
74. A good nine out of ten bad things I’ve worried about never happened. A good nine out of ten bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry about.
The first part, nay, I think when I start to worry about things there usually is substantial evidence to back up my worries, so they end up occurring, though the rate is not really that high, I'd say maybe 6 out of 10. Also, because I worry about them in advance, I can think of possibilities to prevent such situations from happening, that probably accounts for 2 of the 10, and I'll leave the last 20% to chance. Though chance is probably much higher, and those stats are probably just way off, but whatever, I don't wanna go over that again. The second sentence, however, is on the dot. WHICH SUCKS.
75. You can’t hide a bad mood from people who know you well, but you can always be polite.
Very true. I don't try to be polite, I try to just be neutral. Being polite requires a lot of effort. However, I definitely try not to throw my mood onto them because it's just not their problems/fault/responsibility. And I really hate when people take out their bad moods on me, when I'm just an innocent passerby.
76. Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.
Yea, I could see that. Sucks a lot.
77. Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.
OMG YES!!! i loooove doing that...
78. There is no point finishing a book you aren’t enjoying. Life is too short for that. Swallow your pride and put it down for good, unfinished.
Haha cool. I like your attitude sir/ma'm.
79. There is no correlation between the price of a brand of batteries and how long they last.
There isnt?? Well, have you ever tried those 'ever ready' ones? they suck!
80. Breaking new ground only takes a small amount more effort than you’re used to giving.
What's breaking new ground? Like going to unknown places or situations? Sometimes it takes A LOT of effort, if that's the case...
81. Life is a solo trip, but you’ll have lots of visitors. Some of them are long-term, most aren’t.
Cool, I like the idea of thinking about it in that way... that's pretty cool... it makes it less detrimental to think of the people that come and go... makes it lighter, and it rings pretty much as true.
82. One of the best things you can do for your kids is take them on road trips. I’m not a parent, but I was a kid once.
Aww cute... that's really sweet, if I ever have such things, I'll try that... I love any sort of trip for myself anyways
83. The fewer possessions you have, the more they do for you.
Ha, simple and true
84. Einstein was wiser than he was intelligent, and he was a genius.
YES! He left quite a few writings behind and they're pretty awesome.
85. When you’re sick of your own life, that’s a good time to pick up a book.
I do this all the time, so that means I get sick of my own life, it happens.
86. Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself.
Um... unless u can immediately start to work toward making them different. But if you can't then yes, it is torture for sure.
87. The ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with how things change.
Acceptance, yes, of each moment. Not an easy thing to do, but it gets less difficult with practice, to me anyways.
88. Killing time is an atrocity. It’s priceless, and it never grows back.
YES!!! Though time is really just an idea. There is only one thing ever occurring. Once when I woke up in the middle of the night and looked at the alarm clock, I saw that I still had 2 hours left to sleep, and I felt relief from that. Then I closed my eyes. Then I opened them again and it was time to get up. I was still the same person. Time is just an illusion.
7/9/10
Dune (dir. by David Lynch)
It did have some really awesome quotes though. That alone made the film worth the watch. I especially like this one:
"I'm dead to everyone unless I try to become what I may be." -Paul
I thought that quote was awesome, not sure if I can explain why... maybe just because to me, self-development has become such an important value, I am moved by any event where I see that people look to develop their own potential. I definitely seek that within myself. Also, the way he states it, it is both sure and unsure. He's dead to everyone, that's definitely a sure statement, unless "I try" to become "what I may be." Just very interesting, I really had to pause the movie and replay that part a few times to get the exact wording right because it seems very important. He's not sure what he will become yet he is sure that if he doesn't pursue it he is as good as dead. Just thinking it's really fucking lovely. And I don't know if I have any more words regarding the statement, other than the impact it has on me. It's like when I read a book and I also just have to pause after reading a good quote and my eyes just stare off into space in apparent stupidity because my brain is blank. I remain in that state for a while, not even thinking of the quote just sort of having been struck by it haha, it's a great experience actually, and it happened to me a BUNCH of times when reading 1984. I guess some might call that a 'mindfuck'... but anyway, with time I may be more able to understand this quote, and I guess I just hope not to forget it.
7/6/10
The bad girl from a novela
So yea I'm watching this novela called "Soy tu Duena." Mostly cuz I like some of the characters. It still lacks a lot of sense like basically any novela would, but I think it makes just a bit more sense so that it is still palatable for my taste. And yea one of the cool characters is the evil girl in it. She looks and is quite awesome. The good girl is awesome too, but I couldn't find any good pictures of her. Anyways here's the awesome evil femme fatale.....
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